Monday, October 31, 2005

a poem and a little more about halloween

i subscribe to the writers almanac. everyday on NPR garrison keillor reads a poem and some interesting historical/literary bios/info. here is todays. hope you enjoy.


Poem: "My November Guest" by Robert Frost from Collected Poems, Prose, and Plays.© Library of America.

My November Guest My Sorrow, when she's here with me,
Thinks these dark days of autumn rain
Are beautiful as days can be;
She loves the bare, the withered tree;
She walks the sodden pasture lane.
Her pleasure will not let me stay.
She talks and I am fain to list:
She's glad the birds are gone away,
She's glad her simple worsted gray
Is silver now with clinging mist.
The desolate, deserted trees,
The faded earth, the heavy sky,
The beauties she so truly sees,
She thinks I have no eye for these,
And vexes me for reason why.
Not yesterday I learned to know
The love of bare November days
Before the coming of the snow,
But it were vain to tell her so,
For they are better for her praise.


Literary and Historical Notes:
Today is Halloween, one of the oldest holidays in the Western European tradition.
Today, 70 percent of American households will open their doors and offer candy to strangers, most of them children; 50 percent of Americans will take photographs of family or friends in costume; and the nation as a whole will spend more than six billion dollars. In terms of dollars spent, it is the second most popular holiday of the year in this country, after Christmas.
For the Celtic people of Northeastern Europe, November 1st was New Year's Day, and October 31 was the last night of the year. Celts believed it was the night that spirits, ghosts, fairies and goblins freely walked the earth. Archaeologists aren't entirely sure what all the traditions were, but they believe the holiday involved bonfires, dressing up in costumes to scare away evil spirits, and offering food and drink to the spirits of family members who had come back to visit the home.
It was Pope Gregory III in the eighth century A.D. who tried to turn Halloween into a Christian holiday to divert Northern Europeans from celebrating an old pagan ritual. He made November 1st All Saints Day, and October 31 became All Hallows Eve. Instead of providing food and drink to the spirits, Christians were encouraged to provide food and drink to the poor. And instead of dressing up like animals and ghosts, Christians were encouraged to dress up like their favorite saints.
In the United States, Puritans tried to outlaw Halloween, in part because of its association with Catholicism. So it was the Irish Catholics who brought Halloween to this country, when they immigrated here in great numbers after the potato famine in the 1840's. Since the Irish were largely poor and oppressed, Halloween became a holiday for them to let off steam by pulling pranks, hoisting wagons onto barn roofs, releasing cows from their pastures, and committing all kinds of mischief involving outhouses. Treats evolved as a way to bribe the vandals and protect homes.
But by the late 1800's, Victorian women's magazines began to offer suggestions for celebrating Halloween in wholesome ways, with barn dancing and apple bobbing. And by the early 20th Century, it became a holiday for children more than adults. In 1920, the Ladies' Home Journal made the first known reference to children going door to door for candy, and by the 1950's it was a universal practice in this country. By 1999, 92 percent of America's children were trick-or-treating.
What's interesting about Halloween is that it has no real connection to the majority religion of this country, it does not celebrate an event in our nation's past, it does not involve traveling to visit family, and it doesn't even give us a day off work. But it gives us the chance to try out other identities. For one day, people can feel free to dress as the opposite gender, as criminals, as superheroes, celebrities, animals, or even inanimate objects. But Halloween retailers report that the most popular costumes remain some variation on witches, ghosts, and devils.

It's the birthday of English poet John Keats, (books by this author) born in London (1795). Keats's short life was marked by the deaths of friends and family members. His father died when he was nine, and one year later his grandfather died. When he was fifteen, his mother died of tuberculosis, the disease that eventually killed his brother and, later, Keats himself. Keats said he felt "a personal soreness which the world has exacerbated."
He began writing poetry after he had started his career as an apothecary in London. He published the sonnet "O Solitude" (1816), which called the city a "jumbled heap of murky buildings." His first book, Poems (1817), was not well received. His publishers dropped him, but other poets saw promise in his work. His breakthrough poem was a sonnet called "On First Looking into Chapman's Homer." Keats had stayed up all night reading George Chapman's translations of the Iliad and the Odyssey with a friend. They stopped reading at 6:00 a.m., and by 10:00, Keats had written the poem and set it on the breakfast table for his friend.
Keats wrote most of the poetry for which he is famous in one twelve-month period, from September 1818 to September 1819. He wrote "Ode on a Grecian Urn," "Ode to a Nightingale," "Ode on Melancholy," "La Belle Dame Sans Merci," and "To Autumn."

happy halloween and happy birthday keats!

Saturday, October 29, 2005

October 29, 2005

i know my titles aren't very interesting but oh well.

i have a dear friend of mine who lives in scotland. he is a professional storyteller, and does wondrous things telling stories, and scholarship programs in russia, just on the edge of siberia. (I have been ableto be involved with his scholarship program in russia via written submissions sent for translation. I have been the most complex for the past two years.. this year I got t hank you letters from the students and some board members and it meant the world to me.) he and i have corresponded since i came back tot he states after my time there. i get a poem every day from the writers almanac (NPR all the way baby!) and he is one of the ones i send it on to. if i dont send it on, he lets me know about it.(WHERES MA POEM?!?!) and usually he sends me his response to the poem, whether or not he thought it was rubbish, that sort of thing. we keep each ot her involved int he other's life. when we (rylan and i) got married, he was invited. his response was "I have never not wanted to be in italy before in my life..."
well he was just on the radio yesterday, on the bbc live cafe show, telling a story and talking about russia. I was not bale to listen to it live because we were out at a cross country thing last night. but I just listened to it this morning. and just wow. i havent heard his voice in five years. but it still rings true in my mind. i can still hear it. and to be able to hear him talking and telling a story :) it just makes me smile.. isn't technology wonderful?

it is almost time for halloween and i have ot say i cannot wait! i am so excited. i have alays loved the holiday. dressing up, or tellign scary stories, trick or treating, all the ghosts and goblins, witches all of that. but it seems my hometown does not share my love for it. it seems a lot of places don't share my love for the holiday. the whole misconception that it is a satanic or the devil's holiday.... I shake my head.... i will go find information on the basis of halloween and post it.. just to make me feel better. i just think people take things a bit too far and a bit literally and extremist sometimes. (banning harry potter because of witches and wizards..) it's a lot much somedays. and i'll leave it there.

next week is the AIDS quilt show. i'm working the thursday night and friday morning.

this week kyla who you have all read about, she and i went for our walk like we do every week. we went to the store where the poodle lives (mary go round. the owner has a little toy poodle named tralee. kyla loves tralee.) and we went tothe dress shop (the florists and the bridal store). in the window of the store was this little dress, a flower girl dress, perfect size for kyla. and we went in, we have admired it for a while..michelle, the woman who helps to run the shop, was working there. she is the one who helped me with my wedding dress. (They actually had my dress there so kyla got to see it!) and she said that she had a pink version of the flower girl dress upstairs. so we went up and kyla got to try on her pretty dress on. we walked over to the mirrors and she just beamed and giggled. :) it was beautiful. then we got to try on veils. it was very cool.
and then i think about how quickly she's growing up. and i think about all of those things and go wow. probably one day i'll be doing this for real with her or our daughters... it was one of those moments in time i just wanted to stop everything and freeze it right there.

i guess thats about all for now. i will include the halloween history links at the bottom.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feast_of_the_Lemures
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larvae
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samhain (on that one if you want, skip down a little if you can't stomach the words break down..)

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

rain snow and freakish storms

october 25th. the forecasters are alreadyc alling for the firsts nowfall of the season. i havent seen any yet i dont think but its probably on its way.
today has been a day of students and colleagues being on my last nerve. *deep breath!*

but its ok. i can deal.


rylan brough t home a huge box of cortland apples yesterday. tonight we're making applesauce. which makes this third time we've made sauce this autumn. and so we'll be happily set for applesauce. yay :)

am fighting getting sick. and fighting with everything.
determined that i wont go for my phd right now. every time i think ofit, i just get more and more tired. so maybe later. but not now.

but things are going according to the status quo. we're on a fairly even keel. pray for us, that rylan will figure out what he wants to do after graduation, where we should go and all of that. that would be helpful, thank you. he's just thinking about a lot of options and never really sure. and we're not sure where we shall end up, or any ideas. we have some dieas, but nothing really more than an idea.

am eating my lunch, and listening to music between classes trying to get rejuvenated and all of that... teaching is llikebeign on stage for how many hours a day... and then you have the hecklers or the students who just drive you/me crazy.. the ones who backtalk, who whine, who talk under their breath... so its imporant to have down time.

next week is the AIDS Quilt at Keystone. yay for that.. i am looking forward to working that show.

and i was invited to a dragshow :) it made my day.


i guess thats all for now. nothing terribly deep.. just here. wanting to go to bed.. and wake up and find myself, husband and dog all in scotland with millions of dollars and happily settled there, with jobs, publication contracts and a couple kids....

so maybe not a pickett fence.. but a stone one could be cool..

ta

Sunday, October 16, 2005

lessons from a five year old.

today is day two of rylan being off to his conference in salt lake. and i have been surrounded by love these past two days. it has been very cool. ihave not been looking forward to it. i hate being alone and apart from my rylan. but this is important so off he went.
but yesterday, which i was expecting ot be really hard, i was surrounded by people who loved me. My friend Leslee and I did lunch and talked and visited for a couple of hous. Before that, I wentot a little store in town, whose owner I know and justa dore. We visited some and all of that. In the store I ran into some of our neighbors who are just darlings and big hugs were exchanged.
then last night a friend of mine from high school called and we talked for almost two hours, just catching up.
and through all this has been our dog. i love our dog.

today, a really beautiful touching thing happened to me. Kyla, all five years old that she is, is a gem, and the jewel of my eye. as any of you know who read this already knows, she is just brilliant and awesome. well we were having a snuggle fest. just hugging, hanging out, reading stories, running aorund. Grandpa - my dad - decided to tickle me. I am horribly ticklish. awful. have been since I was little. And he decided to tickle me something fierce. so of course, i start to laugh and scream and kick (carefully so I don't set a bad example to kyla as to kicking people, or to show violence like that and upset her for me kicking her grandpa..) and i'm just suffering, partially gasping for air.. and kyla starts to yell, "Grandpa you leave my Becca alone! You leave my Becca alone! I'll take her tickles, Grandpa, I'll take her tickles....Tickle me instead!"
and it struck e as seet and endearing then, but it also struck me as such an act of love. that she would take my tickles for me so Iwouldn't have to have them.
and it made me think of the savior. who took all my sins and sorrows, everything, for me, so I wouldn't have to deal with the results.

that little girl never ceases to amaze me and I count myself blessed to be in her life, and her in mine.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

october 12

its a cold and rainy day here in the northeast. gray, and dreary.

i have been thinking about PhD programs. If i want to go for one, where and what for.. what the ultimate goal is going to be. and i miss my chrystal cause i so want to talk this over with her! or with elizabeth, one of my profs from millersville. ideally it'd be all three of us meeting for coffee, steamers and biscotti and talking about this. just thinking you know. One program is at University of Strathclyde in glasgow, where I did my year abroad.. but that doesn't feel right. as wonderful as it would be. i guess i can always hope to do conferences over there, or classes, or something in the summer there...i still want my stone cottage withe nglish gardens and roses around it, the dogs and the hills.. a kettle on the stove, and a room full of books, comfy chairs, and lots of windows.

i just keep getting more and more homesick. looking for a place i feel i belong. and it doesn't always feel like i belong here. icould belong here, but i'd still stick out, i'd still be so different, and it'd stil lack the things I want ultimately. at least some of them...

something happened the other night. was talking on the phone with someone and they proceeded to start lecturing me on the history of someplace or other, but it was a place i was more familiar with than they were and i have never felt such indignation rise up in me at this person. and i wanted to say something, scream something maybe, about a conversation doesn't equal being lectured to on the hostory of blah blah blah.. it's a discussion, a conversation, give and take.. and it drove me crazy. and part of me resolved to try to know everything about that particular subject.. but it's ridiculous isn't it.. silly and impossible isn't it... i just hated that feeling of being spoken down to, when i had more credibility to the subject than they did.... of being lectured to in quasi subject 101.. when indeed i've progressed beyond that point... grrr.

my colleague once asked me, we share ano ffice so it was between classes, how do you get fired frmot his job? i just want to mke sure I dont do it. we have ap retty nice job here. and we do. it's lovely. it's great for the resume, part time college profs, all of that. and something rose up iin me today, does it ever feel like you're pretending? like yoh're afraid someone's going to find you out? that you really aren't the all knowing and all powerful Oz but the man behind the curtain, a few steps ahead of the rest of the group? anyone else ever feel that way?

dang i need chocolate. and a steamer. possibly carmel hazlenut steamer.. but probably not. maybe i'll stop on the way home and grab somethignmake a steamer with..a nd somethign warm to eat for dinner. who knows.
off to class. ta

Sunday, October 09, 2005

chocolate fix

i have justdiscovered possibly a great chocolate fix for all the girls and guys out there who need it daily to survive..
make instant choclate pudding with only half the milk suggested int he directions. the result will be thicker, richer and just darn lovely... will take care of that fix in a jiffy.
ta

Saturday, October 08, 2005

october 8th

(listening to Dave Matthews Band "Long Black Veil.")

it's a rainy october day. the leaves are changing and they are marvellous. If ihad a digital camera, i'd take picture and post it, but i dont. so imagine all the autumn pictures of the North East you've ever seen, all the bits in films, in tv shows, in other photos, and all of that, and that's what I'm seeing out my windows. just when i think its reached it's peak, it changes and surprises me.

this week has been a long week for work. lots of funs tress. i have somestudent plagiarising a paper. and i just dont want to have to deal with it. but i have to. whats making it worse is he has stopped coming to class, will not return emails or phone calls. his parents think he is going to class. i called his home from my office on thursday and his mother said that he was at school and he had class that day. I didn't tell her he hasn't been there the past few classes. so he's just digging himself a deeper hole as he moves on. Kings (one of the schools I teach at) has a policy. If a student misses more than two classes you have to report them. then some office at the college will intervene, call and schedule an appointment with the student to see what's happening. then they'll get back to me. so we shall see what happens.

i have been fighting writers block. i hate writers block. it makes me feel so small and so incapable of ever writing. but my mind has started to dream stories again. when i'm sleeping it's started composing sections of my novel. so it's nice to know that my mind is already making progress agaist the block. that i just have to have the will and belief to get through it. so i am looking forward to this. :) am getting antsy to write creepier stuff than I have in the past. I guess my roots are showing.

we have tried to keep the prophet's advice, challenge actually to have the book of mormon read by the end of the year. I have less than a hundred pages left. in reading with rylan, we have little more but we're defintely trying and going for it. but i noticed something intresting. the more i read, and as much as i am enjoying it and gaining from it.. etc.. the tv is on less. we are more choosy in what we watch or listen to. which in turn makes the spirit in the house stronger, and more at peace. the feeling of being so inadequate isn't there as much.
we still watch tv, certainly. but its not like it used to be. we watch lost on wednesdays, supernatural on tuesdays, and i end up watching alias on thursdays sometimes (i'm taping it for my sister). but thats roughly the jist of it. i caught a couple things, but no where near as much. i didn't have that desire to do that. by no means am i saying tv is evil. but i keep hearing the quote (from tv ironically) of "my dad says TV is important. it keeps people from seeing what's really going on.." and yeah i am starting to think it's right. it blocks and jams our signals to ourselves, to what we need, or want, what we should be, what we want to be, to the spirit and all of that..
and the professor docotorow (the man who wrote Ragtime, and the new book The March) said if you watch Tv you'll write for Tv. If you want to write literature, you need to read literature. he challenged us to not watch tv for the entire semester. i did fairly well. so that comes to my mind as well.
rylan is off (apparently) running in a cross country meet. We'll see what happens with the rain. I've been half expecting him to return because where they are running on the course, there's a whole slope they have to run, but there's no grass on it. which equals mudslide and danger. so i'm wondering. but i guess they're running cause he's not home yet.

i guess thats all for now.